Over the years, I’ve written a lot about the concept of balance. It’s a key part of my personal metaphysical framework and one that’s common among many.
The past year has been difficult for a whole lot people for a whole lot of reasons. It’s been hard to find balance, let alone feel it.
Feeling balance is important. Because if you have it, but you don’t feel it, you will lose it. And you’ll probably lose it without realizing you have. And without realizing you have, you’ll have more trouble finding it again.
Not Feeling It
No matter how well we cultivate balance in our lives, numerous things can throw off that balance, that rhythm.
Sometimes we’ll see them coming–like knowing the progression of the seasons, you can prepare for the changes you know are coming, adjusting your planting and harvesting to be in sync. Knowing there’s a big work project coming up that will take up extra time that you normally use for other things. Knowing you have a medical procedure scheduled and having the change plans for it and the recovery. Knowing that company is coming in from out of town and you’ll be acting as a host. All very common things that can force us to alter the patterns we know work for us.
Sometimes the changes will be unexpected. The same way a drought or early snow can have serious impacts on a farm, having a work project suddenly take a bad turn, suddenly having a medical issue come up, suddenly finding having someone show up at your doorstep for an extended stay can all throw your balance off something fierce. But, even though the event was unexpected, you know you were okay before and that you can adjust and, eventually, the situation will change and you can (probably) go back to how things were before.
But what if one of those unexpected events hits when you were already feeling off balance? Or when multiple events hit at the same time–an unexpected event piggybacking on an expected on, like a family emergency cropping up the same time you’re working on that huge project for work, or while you’re having your own medical issues dealt with. What if there have been a series of unexpected events that have kept you off balance for a while? What if, for whatever reason, even when things have been going smoothly, you still feel off balance… and are then hit by something else?
When you start from a point of feeling off-balance, every new complication feels bigger than it probably is. Every move you make feels like it’s going to be a disaster. Huge amounts of negativity and anxiety creep in. Deeper fears can be triggered. Things can look like they’re about to all fall apart. Sometimes they are falling apart.
Without that centered, balanced point of reference–without a clear horizon line to orient yourself by–regaining your footing is yet another herculean effort that needs your attention, just like everything that’s throwing you around.
It is, in a word, exhausting.
Float or Sink
This is the point where you need, without question, to put your own well-being first. At least for a moment or two.
Rough waters and chaotic events can’t be navigated without an idea of where you are or which way is up. There is an absolute need to find your orientation if you seek any control over anything.
In the water, bubbles always head for the surface. Heavier things always sink to the bottom. In desperate times, either direction is acceptable, at least until you can feel the sea floor below you or the fresh air on your face. As usual, heading for the air is always preferable, but it’s not always possible… you may need to hold your breath for a bit.
Float or sink, the trick is to accept a direction until you know which is which. This requires a moment of calm, a point in time where you’ve quieted your mind and pushed back the panic that was overtaking you. Grounding and awareness training are key parts of both personal development and metaphysical frameworks for just this reason.
Metaphors aside, this may mean literally locking yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes just to get away from people. Or going for a walk around the neighborhood. Or calling a night early, even if that will probably mean more work in the morning. Orientation requires space and time to yourself.
Once you’re sure whether you’re sinking or floating, you can take some measure of control to go in the direction you want. Or, at least, be better prepared for the direction you’re going. It’s never preferable to have to hit bottom before change happens, but sometimes it’s inevitable. Knowing and accepting that takes some of the sting out of the experience.
There is Always a Balance Point
No matter how chaotic things are, no matter how overwhelmed you feel, no matter how many more things go “wrong”… there is always a place of calm to be found amid the turmoil.
You may already be there and just not realize it.
When a lot is going on, when our attention is pulled in a million different ways at once, when your emotions are raw and our mind exhausted, there may appear to be no anchor to grab for.
Once you’ve carved out that moment to orient yourself, though, you stand a better chance of seeing it.
Even if you can’t feel it yet, even if it is miles away, finding the balance point provides context for everything else. An object on the horizon you can move toward however slowly that movement may be. You may not be able to get to the point on the opposite shore of the fast-moving river that you want to, but that shore itself is dry and solid ground where you can regroup.
There’s always a balance point. If you can’t see it, perhaps you’re already standing on it. If you are, you have more leverage and control than you think.
Sometime you can’t see that you’re already there because of all the chaos spinning around and within you. Perception can be clouded by so many things, which is why perspective checks–purposeful moments of calm–are important.
If there is nothing else that you do in your personal practice, no matter the path you walk, seek those moments of calm. Cultivate them. Insist on them, even during the most trying of times. You need to feel balance, even if it is fleeting.
When you find that calm point, that balance point, navigating through the chaos is more like surfing on the waves of the Universe. You may get wet, you may wipe out every now and then, but you’re there with a purpose and you’re present for whatever happens… able to react with intent.
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