I grew up reading comic books. Specifically, Marvel comics. You may be familiar with one of their flagship characters, since he’s one of the most famous characters in the whole world: Spider Man.
There’s a lesson that was put into print very early on in the pages of Spider Man comics. It was the idea that “With great power comes great responsibility.”
It’s not the first place an idea like that came up, but it’s the first place I saw it… and probably the first place a whole lot of people think of when they hear those words.
For everyone who knows that saying, you’d think more people would live by it. But, looking around at the world we live in, that’s obviously not quite the case.
The fact is, humans are really good at figuring out ways to dodge responsibility. One of the more common–and, to me, frustrating–ways it gets done is by leaning on labels as excuses.
Here’s a video that lays out the “7 Signs You Are a Heyoka, The Most Powerful Empath”… from a YouTube channel that’s full of similar videos.
Labels Are Explanations, Not Excuses
If you just took a few minutes to watch that video, you’ll notice a few things. First, it’s made well enough and has what I’d consider “good enough” information as a starting point. I’m not here to knock the video or the people who made it… it’s just an example of something I see a lot.
Another thing you may have noticed is that a lot of those things mentioned are kind of… not good. Interrupting people, thinking you’re better and more powerful than others (and acting like it), dealing with others in harsh ways… those aren’t aspirational things.
The video kind of waves away the issue with a lot of what it mentions by basically saying “it’s because they’re working on a different level”… and others would say “Those things aren’t their problem… it’s the problem of the culture that doesn’t recognize these abilities!“
Here’s the thing: If you do have these amazing empathic abilities, but you can’t actually get along with the people around you who you’re ostensibly trying to help, you’re doing it wrong.
And, if when the problematic things you’re doing are pointed out to you, your answer is “Well, I’m a Heyoka, what do you expect?” you’re abdicating the responsibility that comes with the power you have.
This happens in all sorts of arenas. It’s particularly bad in the metaphysical/magical/psychic world, but it’s the same in pop-psychology. “Well, I’m a Gemini, what do you expect?” “Oh, sorry about that, INTJ… that’s just how we are.” That’s using labels as excuses for your behavior.
That’s not what labels are for.
Labels help us explain and understand groups of innate behaviors and pre-dispositions. If you’ve been labeled as something–either by yourself or by some other system–that doesn’t mean you have to adhere to all the things on the checklist that define that label.
You still have agency in how you behave.
Hazard List vs Road Map
With any labels you have a choice: Use it as a hazard list or a road map.
If you use it as a hazard list, you can go down the defining characteristics and say “Oh! I do this, but neither I nor the people around me like it. Now I know I’m predisposed to this because of these other factors. How can I use some of the other things I’m predisposed to to make myself better?
If you use it as a road map, you’re saying “Well, this is where we’re going and it’s the only way to get there, so… guess we’re kind of stuck with this.” (And then usually start exhibiting other bad behaviors associated with the label.)
The Hazard List way puts things in motion for you to be better, to get along better with those around you, and, overall, make the world a better place. The Road Map way is you abdicating your responsibility to be a better person… and, more often than not, makes you and those around you (and the world) a bit worse (or, at least, not better).
Every label has good an bad things in its definition. In the case of this video, yes, a Heyoka is predisposed to interrupt people because they have a lot going on in their head or they’ve already intuited what the actual problem is. But, well, interrupting people alienates them and makes them less prone to listening to you. If you really want to help them, maybe make use of one of your other abilities–like the one that allows you to listen and act on multiple levels–and actually just jot down a note in a notebook (which, if you’re the kind of person that’s described in the video, you should always have at least one nearby) instead of interrupting the person who’s talking to you.
Having power fantasies of being better than everyone else? Learn to not act on them. Dedicate time to meditating on humility and patience. Pay attention to the feelings that shoot out of people when you present yourself as superior–in most cases, those won’t be pleasant ones.
Power Is A Responsibility
There’s no denying that any kind of power brings with it a lot of privilege. It doesn’t make a difference if you’ve earned that power through hard work or been born with it, people will likely notice at some point and you’ll be able to get things from them because of it.
And it’s easy to get caught up in that privilege. You may feel that you deserve what you’re getting and more. You may forget that there’s a flip side to all the benefits you gain by having power and privilege. You may not even care (until something goes horribly wrong, of course).
Power and privilege without responsibility–without an acceptance and willingness to do for others–leads down a very dark (though gilded) path. You lose things like compassion without even realizing it. You cause harm without even realizing it. You set yourself up for a precipitous fall without realizing it.
Power is a responsibility. How you use it matters. And there’s no label in the world that doesn’t give you some choice in how you interpret it and put the information it provides into your personal context.
Choose wisely, and you can change the world for the better.
Choose poorly and you will cause more suffering and harm in the long run than good.
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